An Open Letter To My Customers

*First, I wish to say, crouched in my anonymity, that I am in no way affiliated with any major retail chain. In fact, I probably don’t even work at one of them. And if I do, note how I’m not saying which one? Anyway, please don’t sue me or fire me or if you’re a corporate bigwig and you chance upon this little letter.*

Dear Customers,

I love you. I really do. It’s not an act, I’m not being fake when I smile and look pleased to see you. For the most part, I really enjoy interacting with you. I love the variety of people I meet. I like talking to you and making your shopping experience more pleasant.

That being said, I think that this relationship, like any good one, needs a few ground rules. I promise to respect you, to treat you the way I would like to be treated, and to ring you out as quickly and efficiently as I can. In return, I’d like to ask a few things in return:

1.) Please don’t talk on your cell phone while I’m ringing you out. If it rings, could you wait the few seconds until we’re done before you answer? If necessary, let it go to voicemail.

2.) Please don’t think that I’m a babysitter. Just because you’re filling out a check doesn’t mean I can watch your child. They don’t listen to me, and it’s not my fault if they attempt to make a run for it while you’re otherwise occupied.

3.) If you have coupons, let me know. Don’t wait until the transaction is over to yell at me because I missed the coupons you didn’t give me, or shoved somewhere on the register in hopes that I would find them.

4.) Don’t take your hangers. I understand that sometimes a person needs extra hangers, and these are free, but if it’s at all possible, refrain. You may think it makes it easier for me if you just take the hangers; this is a falsehood. Clothes are a heck of a lot harder to bag when there are hangers sticking out of them.

5.) Just be decent, okay? I’m a person, too, and I’m trying my best to take care of you. If I ask you how you are, you don’t have to say you’re doing well; you don’t have to lie if you’re having a bad day. But you don’t need to take it out on me. Say hi. Respond to me when I talk to you. Be as pleasant as you have it in you to be.

See? It’s only five rules. No, not rules even. Suggestions. I think that if you help me out here and follow my advice we can both be much happier.

Thank you and you have a great day!

Your Friendly Cashier